On pleasure in Spike Jonze’ ‘Her’ pt. 1: visualising dis/embodiment w/ Anita
Freyia’s (she/her) mentor, Anita (she/her) stops by to dissect one of Freyia’s favourite films ever, Her. In this first part of this two part discussion on the theme of pleasure, Freyia and Anita discuss embodiment, disembodiment and transcendence as explored in this unique love story.
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Content Warnings:
This one is not very heavy on the potentially triggering themes, but there are brief mentions of the following topics…
diet culture; anxiety; aging and ageism; illness; death; relationship struggles; sexuality and sex acts and faking orgasms.
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Book your tickets for the official (free!) online launch event for the wellbeing practice taking place on 19th August at 7pm British Time / 1pm Central US Time here:
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/official-launch-of-creative-embodiment-wellbeing-practice-folie-a-deux-tickets-671412060547?aff=oddtdtcreator
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References:
Alethya
https://www.alethya.com/
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What Is Diet Culture? — Christy Harrison
https://christyharrison.com/blog/what-is-diet-culture
What My Son Eating (Or Not Eating) Broccoli Has To Do With Sex: Thoughts On Food, Sex, Pleasure and Society – Anita Cassidy
https://www.alethya.com/what-broccoli-has-to-do-with-sex/
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Anxiety and Panic Attacks - Mind
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/about-anxiety/
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Overcoming The Fear Of Change and Loss – Anita Cassidy
https://www.alethya.com/overcoming-the-fear-of-change-and-loss/
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About The Common - Friends of Clapham Common
https://claphamcommon.net/about-the-common/
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Scorned As Timber, Beloved Of The Sky – Some Reflections On Ageing – Anita Cassidy
https://www.alethya.com/beloved-of-the-sky/
Gerontology: What Is It and Why Is It Important? - Ageing Bites
https://youtu.be/XT4vy07pIsE
Epidemiology For The Uninitiated - Chapter 1. What Is Epidemiology? - The BMJ
https://www.bmj.com/about-bmj/resources-readers/publications/epidemiology-uninitiated/1-what-epidemiology
Ageism Is One Of The Last Socially Acceptable Prejudices. Psychologists Are Working To Change That - American Psychological Association
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/03/cover-new-concept-of-aging
Ageing and Health - World Health Organization
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/ageing-and-health
Learning To Live Well With A Persistent Illness - Jennifer Crystal
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/learning-to-live-well-with-a-persistent-illness-2020091420868
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What Is Horror? Definition and Examples In Film - Jonathan Scott
https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/what-is-horror-definition/
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Her
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1798709/
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Durkheim’s Sacred and Profane - Unacademy
https://unacademy.com/content/upsc/study-material/biology/durkheims-sacred-and-profane/
An Introduction to Type: Sensing vs Intuition – Jung Society of Utah
https://jungutah.org/blog/an-introduction-to-type-sensing-vs-intuition-2/
Transcendence - Britannica
https://www.britannica.com/topic/transcendence
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What is World Building — Definition, Examples & Techniques - Sam Kench
https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/what-is-world-building/
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Los Angeles - Britannica
https://www.britannica.com/place/Los-Angeles-California
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Understanding Social Media Use as Alienation: A Review and Critique - James Reveley
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.2304/elea.2013.10.1.83
Social Media Use Can Be Positive For Mental Health and Wellbeing - Amy Roeder
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/features/social-media-positive-mental-health/
Note: Trigger warning for use of the O slur, and the grouping of fatness with murder (as well as theft and drug abuse, which I don’t believe should be put together with murder either…but that is a whole scope into itself.)
Book Reviews Connected: The Surprising Power Of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives - Nickolas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258568206_Nickolas_A_Christakis_and_James_H_Fowler_2009_Connected_The_Surprising_Power_of_our_Social_Networks_and_How_they_Shape_our_Lives_Little_Brown_New_York_NY_353_pages
5 Reasons Why Social Media Is Good for Us - Matthew Valentine
https://technologyformindfulness.com/positives-of-social-media/
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Note: This is the article that I quote, from which I forgot to note down where the quote came from, regarding the material culture of LA in ‘Her.’ I also reference this article in the section about Scarlet Johansson’s voice.
Lonely Palette: The Economy of Colour in Spike Jonze’s Her - Durga Chew-Bose
https://hazlitt.net/feature/lonely-palette-economy-colour-spike-jonzes-her
8 Midcentury Modern Decor & Style Ideas - Sara Tardiff
https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/midcentury-modern-decor-basics-that-every-beginner-should-knowt
What Is Midcentury Modern Style? Here's What You Should Know - Sarah Lyon
https://www.thespruce.com/things-you-should-know-about-mid-century-1391827
Cy Twombly - Tate
https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artists/cy-twombly-2079
Not Mere Projection - Decoding the life and art of Cy Twombly - Andrew Martin
https://harpers.org/archive/2019/03/cy-twombly-fifty-days-at-iliam-the-art-and-erasure-of-cy-twombly/
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Scarlett Johansson - Biography - IMDb
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0424060/bio/?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm
Born Sexy Yesterday - Pop Culture Detective
https://youtu.be/0thpEyEwi80?si=XeetISyERht8Fbs3
Fembots: The Ultimate Male Fantasy - Cheyenne Lin
https://youtu.be/z6ziLrtyz0Y?si=FEjfc3jre3_thput
Note: This podcast (of ‘botcast’ as the hosts, Margot and Jordan coined it) currently is exploring the role of robots/AI characters in movies. There is a great episode on ‘Her’ - which I hadn’t heard before recording this and makes some of the same points Anita and I do! As well as explore the idea of of the intersection of gender and robots/AI characters in movies.)
The Whole Movie Botcast
https://crucchiola.podbean.com/page/2/
Note: It was really hard to find some further reading on this topic that did not mention ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs’ - which I vehmently opposite haha (I think of it as ‘Maslow’s Shitty Triangle) - it’s history is colonials and appropriative and it is also incredibly classist, as well as being highly inaccurate in my opinion. I have an episode slowly gestating on this so watch this space.
What Is Self-Actualization? - Joaquin Selva
https://positivepsychology.com/self-actualization/
Exclusive: Scarlett Johansson Replaced Samantha Morton in Spike Jonze’s New Film, ‘Her’ - Kyle Buchanan
https://www.vulture.com/2013/06/spike-jonze-replaced-samantha-morton-with-scarjo.html
He's Just Not That Into You
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001508/
Uncanny Valley: Examples, Effects, and Explanations - Kendra Cherry
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-uncanny-valley-4846247
Familiar and Strange: Gender, Sex, and Love In The Uncanny Valley
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/8dd7/651fa902167e97cfb20763d13433e0ea8799.pdf
Love in the Uncanny Valley: Men and Sex Dolls - Molly Oswaks
https://www.thecut.com/2015/04/love-in-the-uncanny-valley-men-and-sex-dolls.html
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Pull Your Socks Up - Cambridge Dictionary
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/pull-socks-up
Pull Yourself Up by Bootstraps? Go Ahead, Try It - Nicholas Kristoff
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/19/opinion/economic-mobility.html
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Intuitive Eating
https://www.intuitiveeating.org/
Exteroception - Oxford Reference
https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095806133
Sugar Is Not the Enemy - Virginia Sole-Smith
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/17/parenting/sugar-high-kids.html
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Fear Of Flying - Erica Jong
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9654.Fear_of_Flying
Fear Of Flying - Erica Jong - The Zipless Fuck - GradeSaver
https://www.gradesaver.com/fear-of-flying/wikipedia/the-zipless-fuck
Fear Of Flying Turns 40: Has The “Zipless Fuck” Become Quaint? - Rebecca Bengal
https://www.vogue.com/article/fear-of-flying-turns-40-has-the-zipless-fuck-become-quaint
Mutual Maturbation: What Is It? - Web MD
https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-mutual-masturbation
Georges Bataille: An Intellectual Biography - Michel Surya Book Review - Better Than Food
What Is Eroticism? - Fez
The Reith Lectures, Tom Kirkwood - The End Of Age, Sex and Death - BBC Radio 4
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00gpzn0
La Petite Mort: What It Means and What It Has To Do With Your Orgasm - Jenina Malari
https://www.laweekly.com/la-petite-mort-what-it-means-and-what-it-has-to-do-with-your-orgasm/
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Phantom Limb Syndrome Causes, Treatment & Symptoms - Michael Rugnetta
https://www.britannica.com/science/phantom-limb-syndrome
Somatosensory Homunculus - Khan Academy
https://www.khanacademy.org/science/health-and-medicine/nervous-system-and-sensory-infor/somatosensation-topic/v/somatosensory-homunculus
The Mind-Body Connection: How It Maps Out In The Brain (medicalnewstoday.com) - Kaitlin Vogel
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/how-are-our-minds-connected-to-our-bodies#A-mental-action-plan,-literally
How Does The Brain Connect The World Around Us To The World Inside Us? - Yoav Livneh
https://kids.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/frym.2022.867981
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Lisa Feldman Barrett
https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com/
You Aren’t At The Mercy Of Your Emotions (TED Talk) - Lisa Feldman Barrett
https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com/2018/01/13/ted-talk-you-arent-at-the-mercy-of-your-emotions-your-brain-creates-them/
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“Reality” Is Constructed By Your Brain. Here’s What That Means, and Why It Matters - Wu Tsai
https://neuroscience.stanford.edu/news/reality-constructed-your-brain-here-s-what-means-and-why-it-matters
Anil Seth: Your Brain Hallucinates Your Conscious Reality | TED Talk - TED
https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality
Oliver Sacks: What hallucination reveals about our minds | TED Talk - TED
https://www.ted.com/talks/oliver_sacks_what_hallucination_reveals_about_our_minds
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Why Women Fake Orgasms With Emily Nagoski, PhD, Author Of The Bestselling Book Come As You Are - Body Kindness With Rebecca Scritchfield
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg3j3bdRpUk
5 Asexual People Explain What "Asexual" Means To Them - Tinder
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMhix4nr_0g
Enthusiastic, Willing, Unwilling, Coerced: Consent, In The Context Of Sex Worth Having - Emily Nagoski
https://emilynagoski.substack.com/p/enthusiastic-willing-unwilling-coerced-22-04-22?utm_source=%2Fsearch%2Fconsent&utm_medium=reader2
Some Reality About Consent and Consent Education - Emily Nagoski
https://emilynagoski.substack.com/p/some-reality-about-consent-and-consent-22-04-13?utm_source=%2Fsearch%2Fconsent&utm_medium=reader2
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10 Signs You Might Have An Avoidant Attachment Style - Heidi Priebe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iH1aoxl-R0
Coregulation and Self Regulation - Jessica Maguire
https://youtu.be/zNsuWYvz0gg
Why Does Texting Feel Different from Talking? - Otherwords
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGM3VP4KXXY
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Limerence: What Is It And How Do We Let It Go? - Heidi Preibe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l5ALCPEBkc
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The Evolution of Pregnancy Portraits, From Tudor England to Beyoncé - Bridgit Katz
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/exhibition-spotlights-500-years-pregnancy-portraits-180974021/
Beyonce Pregnancy Photos: See All The Photos From Her Shoot - Jessica Clark
https://www.mamamia.com.au/blue-ivy-pregnancy-photos-new/
That Iconic Photo! The Story Behind Demi Moore's Controversial Pregnancy Shoot - Pip Lincolne
https://babyology.com.au/pregnancy/stages-of-pregnancy/the-story-behind-that-famous-demi-moore-pregnancy-shoot/
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The Serpent & The Swan - Boria Sax
https://mercy.digication.com/books_by_boria_sax/The_Serpent_and_the_Swan
Animal Brides & Bridegrooms - Terri Windling
https://www.terriwindling.com/blog/2020/07/animal-brides-bridegrooms.html
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Meg-John Barker
https://www.rewriting-the-rules.com/meg-john-barker/
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Credits:
H O S T
Freyia Lilian
G U E S T
Anita Cassidy
Website: https://www.anitacassidy.uk/
Alethya Website: https://www.alethya.com/
Twitter: @anitacassidy76
Her novel, Appetite: https://www.abebooks.co.uk/9781910453476/Appetite-Anita-Cassidy-1910453471/plp
TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hjHANAgCbE
M U S I C
Foxhunt (he/him)
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/foxhunt-official
S O U N D
Will Ainsworth (he/him)
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If you are concerned about your mental health, Folie À Deux always recommends turning to trusted members of your community first.
This is also a reminder to check up on your favourite people, even those you consider holding it together just fine.
In the words of Drs Amelia and Emily Nagoski:
“The cure for burnout isn’t self care, it’s all of us caring for each other.”
Access allowing, spending your time and resources finding a supportive professional you gel with can be invaluable to your journey.
If you are in crisis and you don’t know where to turn, Strong 365 hosts their own free 24 hour peer led online mental health chat which can be found here:
https://www.7cups.com/p/strong365/?wla=strong365
A thorough list of mental health helplines for a range of countries can be found here:
https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htm
The world is better with you in it.
