On neurodivergence, trauma & transactional analysis w/ Suraya
Freyia’s (she/her) friend Suraya (she/her) joins her from the other side of the globe to chat candidly about her experience being diagnosed neurodivergent, her experience of domestic abuse and successful trauma therapy.
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Content Warnings:
There is in-depth detail about neurodevelopmental assessment procedures and personal experiences with this process. There is also discussion about the usefulness and validity of the concept of mental illness diagnoses. Some specifics around emotional abuse are discussed frankly. There are also brief mentions of misdiagnoses, medical neglect flashbacks, paedophilia, kink, BDSM and religious sexual abuse within the Catholic Church.
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References:
What Is Decolonisation? - University Of Essex
https://library.essex.ac.uk/edi/whatisdecolonisation
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Does “Pagan” Mean What You Think It Does? - Daniel Esparza
https://aleteia.org/2022/09/26/does-pagan-mean-what-you-think-it-does/
Paganism, Part 1: What Is Modern Paganism? - Liz Williams
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jul/15/what-is-modern-paganism
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How To Live Seasonally When You Work Full Time, Live In A City and Have No Money - The Happylands
https://www.thehappylands.co.uk/blog/how-to-live-seasonally
Light Box Therapy for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) - Restworks
https://rest.works/en/article/light-box-therapy-for-seasonal-affective-disorder/
Seasons Aren't Causing Our Depression, Capitalism Is. Let's Reimagine Solutions - Ayesha Khan
https://wokescientist.substack.com/p/seasons-arent-causing-our-depression
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What Is Yule? - Catherine Boeckmann
https://www.almanac.com/content/what-yule-log-christmas-traditions
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What Does a Copywriter Do and How Do You Become One? Everything You Need to Know - Sondra Wolfer
https://www.themuse.com/advice/copywriter-career-explainer-guide
Content Strategist - gov.uk
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/content-strategist
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Autism Diagnosis Criteria: Explained (DSM-5) - Yo Samdy Sam
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Polymath - Cambridge Dictionary
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/polymath
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Introduction To Gouache | A Beginner’s Guide - Materials, Blending, Techniques and More - Jess Chung
Introduction To Linocut Printing For Beginners - Handprinted
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I Decided To Take A Taranaki Bus Each Week, and What I Found Surprised Me - Suraya Sidhu Singh
Note: Here are links to get involved with Suraya’s public transport activism via her initiative, ‘I Love Public Transport, Taranaki’
Newsletter: https://ilovepublictransport.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=46297cfaed3c93f0a6960b457&id=3719cd4287
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ilovepttaranaki/
The Utter Folly Of Cutting Public Transport Funding In The Regions - Suraya Sidhu Singh
Note: Here’s a catalogue of Suraya’s articles nicely collected together
https://muckrack.com/suraya-sidhu-singh/articles
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Does Everyone Have The Right To Learn Te Reo Māori? - The Spinoff
YouTube Hearing Māori Language | E01 | 2 Cents 2 Much | The Spinoff - The Spinoff
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What Exactly Is Neurodiversity? - How To ADHD
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Depression - Mind
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Anxiety & Panic Attacks - Mind
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Idiom: March To The Beat Of One's Own Drum - Oyster English
https://www.oysterenglish.com/idiom-march-to-the-beat-of-ones-own-drum.html
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Why ‘Asperger’s’ Needs To Be Stopped - Chloe Hayden
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11 Warning Signs Of ‘Gaslighting’ in Tangled - Cinema Therapy
Tangled - How Girls Get Gaslit - The Take
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Change Your Brain and Nervous System With Self Directed Neuroplasticity - Jessica Maguire
It Is Not Just The Brain That Changes Itself – Time To Embrace Bioplasticity? - International Association For The Study Of Pain
https://www.iasp-pain.org/publications/relief-news/article/time-to-embrace-bioplasticity/
Note: Here are some references that touch on trauma responses, and their mechanisms, that overlap with symptoms experienced by those diagnosed as autistic
Misophonia and Sound Sensitivity: A Polyvagal Informed Approach to Treatment - New Pathways Therapy
Polyvagal Theory - Misophonia International
Shift Towards The Social Engagement System - Michael Samsen
https://reichandlowentherapy.org/Content/Vegetative/ventral_shift.html
Start Healing, Living Whole-Heartedly & Having Fulfilling Relationships - Dr Mar Kovanen
The Power Of Proprioception - Gretchen Goerlitz
Tips For Sensory Needs - Proprioception - Dr Chris Moore
https://www.epinsight.com/post/tips-for-sensory-needs-proprioception
Complex Trauma: When The Whole Is More Painful Than The Sum Of Its Parts (PART 2) - Connectivity Counselling
https://connectivitycounselling.com/complex-trauma-painful-sum-parts-part-2/
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Note: Some therapies which are helpful to manage distressing symptoms experienced by those diagnosed autistic are also helpful for the same distressing symptoms experienced by people who have been traumatised. They work using the same mechanisms
Dr. Stephen Porges’ Safe and Sound Protocol - Unyte
https://integratedlistening.com/polyvagal-theory/porges/
Initial Outcomes of the Safe and Sound Protocol on Patients with Adult Autism Spectrum Disorder: Exploratory Pilot Study - Hiroki Kawai 1ORCID, Makiko Kishimoto 1,2,*, Yuko Okahisa 1, Shinji Sakamoto 1ORCID, Seishi Terada 1 and Manabu Takaki 1
A Neurodivergent Review of the Safe and Sound Protocol - Trauma Geek
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Denial As A Defence Mechanism - Kendra Cherry
https://www.verywellmind.com/denial-as-a-defense-mechanism-5114461
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Note: Prozac is a brand name for fluoxetine
Fluoxetine - Mind
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/antidepressants-a-z/fluoxetine/
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Mumsnet
Advice & Etiquette Books - Encyclopedia.com
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Meg-John Barker
https://www.rewriting-the-rules.com/meg-john-barker/
Rewriting The Rules - Meg-John Barker
https://www.queerlit.co.uk/products/rewriting-the-rules?_pos=1&_sid=0287cd7c7&_ss=r
The Meg-John and Justin Podcast
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BDSM 101: Fetish vs. Kink - Evie Lupine
What Is BDSM? - Kinky Assignments
Consent and “Enthusiastic Maybe” | Come As You Are | Dr Emily Nagoski - Pushkin Industries
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Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through Autism's Unique Perspectives - Temple Grandin & Sean Barron
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/34513394
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A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Munches - Jay Wiseman
http://findamunch.com/a-beginners-guide-to-bdsm-munches/
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Chatham House Rule - Chatham House
https://www.chathamhouse.org/about-us/chatham-house-rule
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Fight Club
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0137523/
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Liminal - Merriam-Webster
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/liminal e
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What Is The Vagus Nerve? - Jill Saladi-Schulman
https://www.healthline.com/human-body-maps/vagus-nerve#problems e
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The Dad Joke Doctrine - Ashley Fetters
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/09/deconstructing-the-dad-joke/571174/
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I’m Not Sure If My Relationship Is Healthy - Women’s Aid
How Abuse Mars The Lives Of Autistic People - Emily Sohn
https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/how-abuse-mars-the-lives-of-autistic-people/
Evidence That Nine Autistic Women Out of Ten Have Been Victims of Sexual Violence - Fabienne Cazalis, Elisabeth Reyes, Séverine Leduc and David Gourion
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2022.852203/full
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Peer Support - Mind
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/peer-support/about-peer-support/
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Is BDSM Always Sexual? - Evie Lupine
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The False Comfort Of Labels On Our Personal Identity In Kink - F R R Mallory
https://submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/the-false-comfort-of-labels-on-our-personal-i
Note: For a visual reference, here are some resources that describe the girly kink aesthetic I described that I don’t identify with
Babygirl Aesthetic
https://aesthetics.fandom.com/wiki/Babygirl
Kawaii BDSM Aesthetic
https://kawaiibdsm.com/collections/clothing?page=1
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Shibari: Pushing Boundaries In The Ancient Japanese Practice Of Knot Tying - Clarissa Sebag-Montefiore
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The Strange History of Borderline Personality Disorder - Kevin RedMayne
https://kevinredmayne.medium.com/the-strange-history-of-borderline-personality-disorder-fc3ce583869
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Tim Moore
Research Gate Profile: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Tim-Moore-6
Note: This is the episode of this podcast I mention, in which Tim Moore and I discusses mental health diagnosis as a social construct
S2E7 / On The Concept Of Mental Health Diagnosis w/ Tim - Folie À Deux Podcast
https://www.folie-a-deux.co.uk/season2/episode7
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Women And Hysteria In The History Of Mental Health - Cecilia Tasca, Mariangela Rapetti, Mauro Giovanni Carta and Bianca Fadda1
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3480686/
The Evolution of the Classification of Psychiatric Disorders - Alina Surís, Ryan Holliday and Carol S. North
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4810039/
Social Construction of Illness - Dhruv Jain and Kartik Singh
Mental Illness As A Social Construct - Nancy Joseph
https://artsci.washington.edu/news/2010-07/mental-illness-social-construct
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Meme - Britannica
https://www.britannica.com/topic/meme
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Effectiveness Of Currently Available Psychotherapies For Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Future Directions - Sonya B. Norman
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9077626/
Flashback Management - Pete Walker
http://www.pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm
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What Is Diet Culture? - Isa Robinson
https://isarobinsonnutrition.co.uk/blog/what-is-diet-culture
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Food Intolerance - NHS
What Are Allium Allergies and Why Are They Hidden?- Patti’s Allergy Concious Kitchen
https://pattisallergyconsciouskitchen.com/what-are-allium-allergies-and-why-are-they-hidden/
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The Aggravatingly Cyclical Nature Of CPTSD Recovery - Shannon N
How To Break the Cycle of Intergenerational Trauma - Tanaesha White
Repetition Compulsion: Why Do We Repeat The Past? - Olivia Guy Evans
https://www.simplypsychology.org/repetition-compulsion.html
Note: Margeaux Feldman talks here about how when someone has relational trauma, unsafe relationships may feel like home, and thus we will easily repeat past bad patterns if we don’t take different actions
The Soft Animal of Our Body - Margeaux Feldman
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How Autism May Stem From Problems With Prediction - George Musser
https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/autism-may-stem-problems-prediction/
Autism and Change - Purple Ella
Note: This study describes that predictive processing can be altered due to psychological trauma
Predictive Processing and the Varieties of Psychological Trauma - Sam Wilkinson, Guy Dodgson and Kevin Meares
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01840/full
Note: This study explains that limiting beliefs about the world and your agency in it (I.E, not recognising you can do something differently moving forwards) can also be a trauma response
What Is ‘A Sense Of A Foreshortened Future?’- A Phenomenological Study Of Trauma, Trust and Time - Matthew Ratcliffe, Mark Ruddell and Benedict Smith
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4166378/
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The Blind Boy Podcast
https://www.theblindboypodcast.ie/
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Transactional Analysis Theory & Therapy: Eric Berne - Heather Murray
https://www.simplypsychology.org/transactional-analysis-eric-berne.html
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Pretty Woman | "Big Mistake, Huge!" Scene - STARZPLAY
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Power Threat Meaning Framework - Full Version - The British Psychological Society
https://www.bps.org.uk/guideline/power-threat-meaning-framework-full-version
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Understanding Psychological Formulation - St Patrick’s Mental Health Services
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Planting A Persuasive Seed: How Certain Cues Create Powerful Messages In Our Minds - Harvey Schachter
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CBT - Mind
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What Is CBT Fetish - Sienna Saint-Cyr
https://www.fetish.com/magazine/bdsm-toys/cbt-bdsm/
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Driver Distraction Factsheet - RSPA
https://www.rospa.com/rospaweb/docs/advice-services/road-safety/drivers/driver-distraction.pdf
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Tolerating Ambiguity - Miriam Gigeure - Tedx Talks
People Who Endorse Conspiracy Theories Are More Anxious and Less Tolerant Of Ambiguity, Study Finds - Vladimir Hedrih
QAnon Explained: The Antisemitic Conspiracy Theory Gaining Traction Around The World - Julia Carrie Wong
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/aug/25/qanon-conspiracy-theory-explained-trump-what-is
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Survivors Voice
https://www.survivorsvoice-europe.org/
What Structural Factors Contribute To Abuse in the Catholic Church? - Awake
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At Least 250,000 Suffered Abuse In New Zealand's State Care System, Inquiry Finds - Eleanor Ainge Roy
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Jimmy Saville: A British HorrorStory | Official Trailer | Netflix - Netflix
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JV8khm4s9j4
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Jeffery Epstein: Filthy Rich | Official Trailer | Netflix - Netflix
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Credits:
H O S T
Freyia Lilian
G U E S T
Suraya Sidhu Singh
M U S I C
Foxhunt (he/him)
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/foxhunt-official
S O U N D
Will Ainsworth (he/him)
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If you are concerned about your mental health, Folie À Deux always recommends turning to trusted members of your community first.
This is also a reminder to check up on your favourite people, even those you consider holding it together just fine.
In the words of Drs Amelia and Emily Nagoski:
“The cure for burnout isn’t self care, it’s all of us caring for each other.”
Access allowing, spending your time and resources finding a supportive professional you gel with can be invaluable to your journey.
If you are in crisis and you don’t know where to turn, Strong 365 hosts their own free 24 hour peer led online mental health chat which can be found here:
https://www.7cups.com/p/strong365/?wla=strong365
A thorough list of mental health helplines for a range of countries can be found here:
https://www.helpguide.org/find-help.htm
The world is better with you in it.
